To do list: 'go on the rob' and 'sell weed'

After doing a stop and earch on the suspicious looking Thomas Franks, police discovered his plan for the day.

On the list was: Sell push bike
Go on the rob
Get a job
Sell weed

He said he was in need of the cash to 'fix his playstation.' But luckily for him, 'go on the rob was not checked off' but he still pleaded guilty of having 21g of weed on him.

What else is there to do but drink?

After crashing and rolling his car, Paul sneddon could not escape the wreckage that had been his car. He had crashed after a drinking session and was returning home.

He rang 999 and asked for the appropriate services, but while waiting he cracked open another can and just sat enjoying the breeze (why not? he wasn't going anywhere.) He told the court that he "had nothing else to do." When asked how much he had had he replied, "plenty".

He was banned from driving and fined a considerable amount.

I think a round of aplause is needed!

This heroic warrior was captured by CCTV trying to get a box of beer after he has obviously been through a few already. After entering the shop the guy walks straight (straight-ish) for the beer cabinet and chooses his favourite and attempts to leave the shop. The video shows what happens next.



I think one of the best things about this video is the fact that it shows you that this scene took place at just after 10 am.

This, is one true LAD.

Naked Cowboy on Naked Cowgirl Action

The Naked cowboy who can usually be seen giving his guitar a good strum in New York's Times Square, has taken legal action against the Naked cowgirl who also likes to have a good strum in New York's Times Square.

Robert Burk who makes his living by busking wearing only a cowboy hat and some white briefs has told Sandy Kane, who performs in a Red White and Blue hat and matching bikini, to stop ripping off his trademark and to get off his turf.

Burk wants Kane to pay him $500 a month or $5000 a year to be allowed to use his franchise, But Kane who used to be a stripper and is now in her 50's (and i was getting my hopes up) has told Burk she owes him nothing.

2 Years Old - Puffing like a chimney!

The two year old had his first fag when he was just one year old, now he is smoking 40 cigarettes a day and will throw a tantrum if he doesn't get one.

It's not all bad news though as Adri, has managed to start to cut down after going on a 'therapy focused on playing' course, now only smoking a tiny 20 cigarettes a day. But it is not enough as the 4 stone 2 year old costs his parents £3.78 a day, where the minimum wage is £69 a month. He rolls around on a toy truck blowing smoke like he is some kind of mafia hit man.

His father Mohamed, says that "he gets extremely angry if we don't give him a cigarette, he starts to batter his head against the wall and say he feels dizzy and sick." (well you would if you just smashed your head against a wall).

His parents have been given the incentive of a brand new car by the government if they can get their raging druggie of a son to stop his addiction. (It's not the prolonged life or the increased fitness of their child, or even the amount of money a day they are spending, but a new car that does the trick!! good parents!!)

Why are you not dead?

Ozzy Osbourne has done everything; he's eaten bats, broken his neck in a quad biking accident and used drugs for 40 Years. This is why scientists are spending £27,000 on finding out why he isn't dead yet.

At 61, it is a miracle he is still living, not just because he lives with his wife Sharon(although he has once tried to strangle her). Scientists want to look at his genetic code to see if his body has special talents in absorbing harmful substances.

Ozzy has admitted to drinking until he passed then when waking up carry on drinking until he passed out again, and then carry on this procedure for a number of cycles. What I would call a "get rinsed and repeat" method.

You would have thought scientists could spend their time looking at how to beat cancer or how to feed the world. But then again people could use this information to get hammered to their hearts content!

Now that's one hot chick!

A man in Zimbabwe has killed himself after his wife caught him having sex with a chicken. The chicken was then killed, which I feel was a bit harsh as i doubt he was the one that did the seducing in this love affair.

I'm also surprised that the wife did not kill herself as if you found your partner getting busy with a chicken, that is going to look bad on you because it means that someone would rather have sex with their dinner than you, you must be doing something very wrong.

It's a good job the chicken wasn't a male because then the man would be a gay chicken fucker instead of just a chicken fucker and also the headlines would be "man shags cock"

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