Friday, 18 March 2011

Man wins £1.4m in a fluke £2 bet...

Heating engineer Steve Whiteley said he had only gone to Exeter racecourse because it was free to get in.
He placed a £2 accumulator bet at the suggestion of his mates, and then watched in disbelief as, one-by-one, his horses came in.
It is by far the biggest Tote jackpot ever won, and Mr Whiteley is the first ordinary punter to win it - it has only been done previously by a syndicate and a professional gambler.
If the starting prices of all of the horses he backed are added together, the combined odds of him winning were just over 870,000-1.
To win the accumulator Mr Whiteley, from North Tawton, had to pick the winners of all six races at the meet.

Tuesday, 22 February 2011

That's got to hurt your dignity...

While trying to rob a Jewellery store in Northampton, a gang of six men were interrupted by a 71 year old women wielding a handbag, She then proceeded to 'batter' them until they fled...

Ann Timson, who often has to have the aid of a wheel chair states that she was sore for day after the escapade, and she claims that it was a short burst of adrenaline that helped her through the ordeal.

She has decided to place her weapon of choice on eBay in case anyone wants to buy it. (don't mock... that thing came up trumps over sledge hammers and helmets.)

Thursday, 17 February 2011

Those Fish Know Too Much!!!

A 16 year old Burglar has been arrested after he broke into two houses and stole a number of goods. (Standard Procedure)

But it also turned out that he had poured Ketchup and Mustard into a fish tank in one of the houses, poisoning and killing 5 fish. When questioned on this his answer was that he "didn't want to leave any witnesses."

What a nut-job.

Saturday, 12 February 2011

Just munching on my Soap...

I like soap... It keeps me clean...
This woman likes soap.. She eats it...

A rare medical condition has left Tempestt Henderson, from Florida, eating up to five bars of soap a week.

It's the toxic compulsion that doctors claim could kill her. But this 19-year-old girl claims she is hopelessly addicted... to eating soap.

Monday, 3 January 2011

Donald Duck? He's one to look out for.

Police in Massillon, Ohio have arrested a man for drink driving and when they asked for his name he gave "Donald Duck" after some quick research the police found that this man was actually called Donald duck.

I reckon this guy is a regular drunk and on his last adventure managed to change his name (or his mother is a hero) but this time he only managed to make it to the Drive through Pizzeria where he found fun in repeatedly bumping into the car in front before the police picked him up.

Monday, 27 December 2010

The Credit Crunch hits Santa

It's well known that Father Christmas is a very generous guy, and it's also well known that we are in hard times but it was never expected that Santa would have to result to crime to fuel his seemingly harmless addiction of spreading joy.

As it turns out though 'the guy who sees everything' is running low on the green stuff (not weed, he has plenty). So on his way back to the North Pole Santa made a stop off to a shop in Berlin wielding a pistol and demanded money stating that, "even Santa needs to pay the elves" (as though other people go around paying elves).

Unsurprisingly he escaped, the guy can fly around the world delivering presents in one night so this must have been small work.

So next time you put up signs telling Father Christmas to "stop here" think twice.

Sunday, 4 July 2010

Driver hits only object in car park.

Some people have to drive around for hours just to find a parking space, and some take hours getting into a parking space, but this guy didn't worry about that as the only issue for him was the ticket machine right in the middle. But he still managed to collide straight into the ticket vendor in an empty car park with hundreds of spaces around him.

I like to think that he thought that if he drove into the machine he could say that the ticket machine was not working because some idiot has driven into it and he would not get a ticket. But it turns out he is having to pay a lot more than his £1.50 parking fee.